Had a Good Friday (Pun Intended)

First of all, I have to wish my mom a happy birthday today! Words cannot express how grateful Landon, Ryan, and I are to her for everything she has done and continues to do while we continue the fight for Landon's life. She is a magical person and Landon was happy to see her today. Although it was her birthday, she gave us a gift because her visit caused Landon to stabilize his blood pressure. He loves his grandmama!

We had our first family picture today. It was not quite the way we imagined our first picture would be, but precious nonetheless. Landon is still holding steady, though has had some issues maintaining his blood pressure. The surgeons decided not to close his wound because he threw an absolute tantrum when they tried to poke at it today. They don't think he would be able to stand it if they actually tried to perform another surgery on it. They have decided instead to just let new tissue and skin grow over the wound naturally. He already started to heal over, which apparently impressed the surgeons.

We are scared at the thought of his insides exposed for so much longer, but one of his doctors put it into perspective that things happen for a reason and he may just do better healing on his own versus going through another surgery. The good news is that since he wasn't having surgery, he was able to stop being paralyzed. It was nice to see his beautiful eyes again! Although we can't hold him, being able to talk to him and have him look at us makes us feel like real parents. His body is still very swollen due to the infection, but his cute little face remains the same. We are told the swelling will go down as he gets better. However, one of the doctors pointed out that he is still growing every day and when the swelling goes down we may be surprised at how much he grew.

It sometimes can be hard to look at him and not be devastated over the hardships he has been through and still has to go through in his short life. I think in times when we are really having difficulty getting over the unfairness of it all, God sends us a reminder of what a miracle he is. Our reminder today was seeing the wonderful nurse who got us through labor and delivery. She asked how he was doing and we told her about his infection and intestinal problems. She then asked in a hushed tone how his lungs were. It was a wonderful feeling to tell her that his lungs were good for a preemie. We sometimes forget the miracle God gave us by giving our beautiful little boy lungs that work when everyone said they wouldn't.

We often have to remind myself that God gave us a fighter. Our boy has been fighting his whole life, both instead and outside my tummy and continues to fight every day. His strength shines through and is recognizable to his nurses, doctors and really anyone who comes into contact with him. So when we feel like we can't take one more setback, we remember that if my little man can keep fighting then we can do nothing but support him and believe in him.