Not so sure about the big boy bed he got for his birthday |
More excited about the Mickey Mouse on his cake then the cake...doesn't take after his mother at all |
Now Landon's musical tastes have evolved. He especially loves any song Mickey Mouse or Dora the Explorer sings. He still loves pop songs, we even have a video of him clapping and dancing on beat to Beyonce! The song that is currently in my head is Emeli Sande's "Next to Me." The words of one stanza go:
"When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, I’ll find him next to me"
Why this song? I think it is because living through life and death while in the hospital you have adrenalin to live on but now that we are home, sometimes regular living can be so much more exhausting then fighting for life. Sometimes I almost feel like I can hear God telling me that I prayed and begged for this baby and now I have to put my money where my mouth was and give that baby everything he deserves. It is a good thing then that I have my husband Ryan next to me. I was able to reflect on everything he has done for me since the moment my water broke early on Landon's birthday. We actually spent his birthday in Las Vegas, the same place Ryan had to rush from when my water unexpectedly broke. He recalled the horrible thoughts and emotions that raced through his mind while he desperately tried to get him before we lost our son. Never in our wildest dreams or prayers could we imagine that two years later we would be able to take the picture below in the place Ryan was standing when it all started.
Looking at the same window daddy did when mommy told him her water broke |
There are still struggles. We are still working on walking though getting so much closer. We have all agreed that Landon is a cautious little guy and just needs to build up his confidence. He has no problem getting around using any available item as a walker including laundry baskets, toys, and sometimes the dog. He is pretty independent on other things including feeding himself. He loves to get his own food out of his own bowl with his own fork. He isn't particularly good at getting all of his food in his mouth so the dog is definitely gaining some pounds.
Even with the food consumption, we are still struggling with weight gain. He is still a little guy looking closer to the size of a 1 year old then a two year old. Of course that may just be a gift from his mommy as I was always the smallest kid in my class. We still struggle because the quicker he grows the more healthy lung tissue and the better heart function he has. He hasn't had perfect lung function or heart tests since I last posted but they are getting better each time which is what we have to focus on.
Pretending to be a nurse like his favorite nurse Kimmy |
At his first hockey game, he got a puck! |
Hamming it up |
It is frustrating because you just want him to be a normal, healthy kid. It seems unfair that after all he has gone through he still has to continue to deal with things other children do not. Coming to the realization and ultimately the acceptance that he may never be a totally 'normal' kid given his beginnings has been hard. But then I don't imagine he would have his amazingly charismatic personality if he hadn't been through everything he has. Besides who knows what really is 'normal.' He work hards and he enjoys every second of his life. I think there are many normal people out there who would love to have that ability.
I will try to update more often, though with the energy this guy has I am not sure how much spare time I will have- especially after he figures out this whole walking thing! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers over the past two years, we are here today because of them!
Landon and Mommy at Auntie Catherine's and Uncle Scott's wedding |
Landon jumping on his gift from Auntie Sally |