A Stroll Down Memory Lane...

We had a wonderful first birthday party for Landon and celebrated his first Easter out of the NICU last weekend. Although we wanted to have a giant circus of a party to celebrate how far we all have come, we were too worried about exposing him to too many germs after keeping him in quarantine for so long. We finally decided to have a smaller party with family and close friends and have a blow out 'Thank You for Our Miracle' type party closer to when his actual birthday was supposed to be in July.

Landon really enjoyed his smaller party. Our house looked like a Toys R Us ad and Landon didn't know what to do with himself with all of his wonderful presents. He would open one and try to hold on tight to it while I tried to get him to let go and open a new present. Who knows what that poor baby was thinking during that experience! He has such an amazingly supportive family and friends, it was a great experience to get people together and celebrate. To top it off, he went to Easter Mass the next day and got to sit in front of his Physical Therapist Rocky and see one of his NICU doctors, Dr. Courtney and her parents, (I went to grade school with her) amongst many others who prayed for his continued healing. It was amazing seeing everyone, some seeing Landon for the very first time. I know everyone enjoyed seeing the result of their prayers and in the case of Dr. Courtney and Rocky, their hard work.

Landon gave Ryan and I a little Easter gift by devouring some Mickey Mouse pancakes we  made for him. I gave him a pancake on a lark as it has been impossible to get him to eat any solids, but the kid acted like a starving man. He had two fists full of pancake and literally jammed handfuls of pancake down his mouth. He couldn't eat fast enough. I think that feeding tube is a thing of the past!

Just playing

Easter Mickey Mouse pancakes yum!

Farmer John overalls

He had two appointments this week, one with a physical medicine doctor and another with his surgeon. The physical medicine doctor was extremely impressed with Landon and how well he sat up and waved 'hello.'  He told us although we still have to wait and see to fully know that Landon won't have any long-term complications like Cerebral Palsy, he would have expected to see worrisome signs by now if there was going to be a debilitating problem.  More importantly, he said Landon looks so good he really doesn't need to see us again. One doctor down about 50 million to go. It is not that we don't like seeing them, but it is always a good sign when they don't want to see us anymore!

Practicing with no oxygen

After the physical medicine appointment, Landon had to get some blood drawn to check his liver function before his surgeon check up appointment. The ladies at the lab were amazing! I think Landon thought he was at play group because one lady blew bubbles and gave him a glitter wand to play with while the other took his blood. He didn't cry at all at the poke and just played away while she took his blood. The screaming didn't come until he realized they were going to take away his glitter wand. It got even sadder when we saw a little girl in the waiting area, who looked terrified at the thought of going into the lab where Landon exited screaming from!

The next day we went to see his surgeon for a routine check up. In the car on the way to the appointment, I realized that Landon had had his first major surgery one year ago today. He had been barely 2 lbs and desperately trying to fight the deadly NEC infection that caused a hole in his intestines.  I started this blog shortly after that surgery to keep our friends and family informed because it was just too heart-breaking to tell people updates multiple times. That day his surgeons brought us into a room and told us that he was very sick and he may not be able to recover from the infection and the surgery. Like everything else in his life, the statistics were far from in his favor. The NICU staff found a room for Ryan and I to stay in that night because they weren't sure he would make it through the night and they knew we would want to be there. Some of his doctors later told us that it took everything they had to leave that day thinking that he would not be there in the morning. In typical Landon fashion, he kept fighting and got a little better each day. Above is a picture we took of him right before we took him to the appointment with the very surgeon who saved his life that day!

Holding my favorite balloon!

Oh! What's in there?

I love Auntie Em

My hot Grandmas and my dapper birthday outfit!

Dr. G. couldn't believe the sight of him when he saw him at the appointment. He jokingly said that the kid looks like an entirely different baby but he still recognizes that stomach. He was so happy with his progress and how well he is doing developmentally. He did notice that Landon had ab separation from all of his surgeries. This is something that should resolve as his abs get stronger, though he may never have a strong '6 pack.' He said in rare cases they may have to rebuild his abdominal wall surgically, but given how well Landon was doing, it should get better with physical therapy. The nurse asked if we would ever want to do a cosmetic surgery to make him a new belly button. Landon promptly started sassing her right after that and Dr. G. commented that with his personality he didn't need a belly button, he could just make up a story! Dr. G. let us know that he was so happy with his progress, we didn't need to see him again. Another doctor down, we are on a roll!

Oh maybe I like this puppy dog...

Birthday boy drum set, thanks Aunt Sally and Uncle Ken!

I am definitely ready for a year that is free from drama and life-threatening decisions. We are ready to just sit back and enjoy our little guy. I do have to thank everyone who has been so generously supportive of our fund raising for our March of Dimes walk in a few weeks. It literally makes me tear up how amazingly supportive people have been. I don't know why I am surprised given how wonderful everyone has been this past year, that you would continue to support us in our latest venture.  Now I just hope I can make it through the whole 6 miles!

I don't like birthday cake but birthday cards aren't bad

We Did It! Happy Birthday Baby!!!

First time at the park

Strolling around on St. Patrick's Day

I recently passed by a church with a sign that stated 'Prayer Changes Things.' A couple of years ago I would have glanced at that sign without a second thought. I mean I considered myself a spiritual person and certainly believed in God, but didn't have much occasion to really reflect on the power He has. All of that changed for me and not only do I know that prayer changes things, I now know that prayer changes EVERYTHING. I know this because one year ago today at 3:05pm to be exact, my husband and I were given what seemed to be the insurmountable task of keeping an impossibly tiny baby alive.

I haven't talked much about that day on this blog. It was such a blur when it happened and still seems surreal now looking back. I was just getting used to the discomfort of hospital bed rest and the reality of the contractions I had been having about every 30 minutes for the last week. When my doctors came rushing in to tell us that Landon's heart rate was dropping with the contractions and it was time for him to join us in the scary outside world, I didn't totally compute their words. I was busy mourning the loss of what should have been Landon's birth experience. He should have had family and friends waiting in the waiting room for a first glance at him. He should have been whisked into his mama's arms instead of the cold, sterile treatment room. He should have weighed more than 1lb 13 oz and been older than 26 weeks.

I suffered some complications after he was born and had to stay in the operating room for several hours while they worked on me. All the while having no idea if my baby lived or passed on. The anesthesiologist tried to distract me with talk of his recent vacation.  Although mundane, I believe it saved my sanity because it was becoming increasingly hard to fight the panic that my baby could die before I got to hold him. I don't know who this was harder on, me or Ryan who followed Landon to the treatment room so he could witness his baptism before he was ushered into the waiting room with our family. At least I had drugs on my side!

Once they were finally finished working on me, I was transferred back into my room. It was such a disconcerting feeling to know that I had been in that room that morning with a wiggly baby inside me and now he was in the world without me. I had no idea what he was going through, but I did know that he was still fighting because the doctors had promised they would bring him for us to hold if he was too little and too sick to fight. Ryan had two pictures they took of him and I have to admit I was horrified. He was so very small and weak looking. I couldn't imagine how he could keep fighting. That kid has certainly taught me never to doubt him in the future!

I don't remember a lot about the first time I saw him. I was overwhelmed by tubes and wires and my own blood loss. The machines were explained to us and the nurse assured us that after a few weeks the beeping wouldn't even phase us. That was so hard to believe, little did I know that Ryan and I would be explaining those same machines to other NICU parents in the coming months. We were told statistics and risk factors and all of the terrible short term and long term challenges our baby could face. However, I remember his first attending, Dr. D. telling us something that we embraced each time a new challenge and new set of statistics was presented to us. He said remember your son's chances at anything (survival, long term disabilities, blindness, infection, etc) are not whatever scary statistic the medical books say. They are 0% or 100% because our son is an individual and those statistics don't take into account that what is Landon. He had a 0 or 100% chance of living and man if he didn't choose 100%.

You know the rest of the story. Who knows what the actual statistics are of Landon surviving to this day. I am sure they are somewhere along the lines of the chances of someone winning the lotto. (I'll take Landon the wonder boy over the lotto any day). You see when we were disheartened by statistics we didn't take into account the thoughts and prayers of our family and friends or the world class medical staff at CS Mott Children's Hospital or what can only be called the 'Landon Factor'- our angel pie's God given will to fight and survive what most adults would have collapsed under.


He had a fabulous birthday today. He got to take cupcakes to the staff at the NICU and attempted to eat birthday cake (not too sure about it). The best birthday present is that we took out his feeding tube last week, and he is going strong so far without it! He also looks a whole lot better :). Wherever we went today people would stop us and comment on what a beautiful baby we had. He has a presence, a charisma that I feel like goes beyond just a mommy's opinion. It is like people can see the hand of God in him, something everyone has but is just so clearly shining from him. 


We decided to just have a small party for him and wait to have a huge party in the summer when he was actually due. Mostly because of my fear of the tail end of cold and flu season and not wanting him to be exposed to anything while he is still on oxygen. We have an appointment in the beginning of May to hopefully talk about starting to take off the oxygen...trying to not get too excited yet. 


Besides who cares about a little bit of oxygen (he needs just a whiff now) when I have a miracle baby! I know it is hard to believe given how wordy I usually am, but I don't have the words to thank all of the people who have been a part of keeping this baby alive and thriving. I hope you all know of our gratitude and undying thankfulness. You are the reason we have this baby, just as much as we are. 


I do have to specifically say something about the two most important men in my life. Looking back it is easy to see where Landon got his personality and perseverance from. My husband is an amazing man, he is the epitome of what a father should be. He came to the NICU every day even though he worked all night. He was always strong when I couldn't be. And now he feeds and bathes and changes this baby, he goes to play groups when I am at work (usually as the only guy there) and he just loves his son.


My Landon has changed the lives of countless people in his short year. His essence just shines and makes you want to be a better person because you realize what a gift life is. I have unlimited expectations for my little man in the years to come and can't wait to share his triumphs with you! 

Birthday Boy!

Standing up

First Birthday present from Aunt Carey and Uncle Cliff...toddler golf clubs!

Not sure about birthday cake...